It
all started with gluten (it always seems to start with gluten). In case you don’t know (and some lucky people
do not), gluten is the protein in wheat, barley and rye. About 15 years ago, I
ran into a colleague who detailed some mysterious and severe health problems
that turned out to be gluten intolerance.
I listened and remembered the name, but didn’t think much of it. It was a rare illness; no need to keep track;
just be sympathetic. Then another colleague went down with a gluten intolerance, then another. I mean they were SICK. Unable to work much and stumping doctors for close to a year before each was given the diagnosis. Then they eleminated gluten and they were fine. I
tried to accommodate these friends and let them pick restaurants when we went out, but it did
not have that much impact on my life (except I got to hog the bread basket).
But
when my daughter, Tessa, was about seven years old, I began thinking that I
should plan differently for entertaining.
She was at a friend’s (Alexa) birthday party . The birthday girl’s best friend (Ivy) was
there. Alexa and Ivy were tight and
spent a lot of time together. I had
mentioned to Alexa’s mom that we were thinking of doing a gluten-free trial at
our house, but did not know how hard that would be for playdates-no cookies,
crackers, pretzels, cereal, mac and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, pizza,
etc. What would a mother do when
presented with a playmate who could not have wheat products (or barley or rye)
or the foods with hidden wheat (think soy sauce)? Alexa’s mother had said it was not a problem
for her. She was used to it. Ivy had celiac disease and could not digest
gluten. She was used to serving edamame,
rice crackers, fruit, popcorn. There
were lots of alternatives.
So
I felt better as I watched the party.
Maybe we could do this. Maybe
other mothers would not find it too challenging when presented with a little
visitor who had significant food restrictions.
The snacks at the party included a tray of fruit, some veggies with dip,
potato chips, cookies and punch. Ivy
knew to avoid the cookies. Then it was
time for cake. All the kids sang with
gusto, gathered around the cake glowing with candles. The cake was then cut and passed around. Ivy sat cheerfully with a few strawberries on
her plate. She did not seem to
mind. Really, she had celiac
disease. The cake would make her feel
sick, so it did not seem like a hard choice for her. It would have been different for my
daughter. Tessa did not have celiac
disease, but a trial had been recommended for some other health reasons. She did not feel sick when she ate
gluten. Foregoing the cake at a party
would have been tough. Tess is an
emotionally intense person and she loves ALL foods. Broccoli is a favorite, but she is never one
to pass up dessert either. At seven, she
would not have been able to sit cheerfully and watch everyone else eat
cake. She might get used to it, but she
would have felt left out. And frankly, I
was surprised. Alexa and Ivy were close
friends. They saw each other practically
daily. I was surprised that Alexa’s
mother had not found a gluten-free cake or at least one gluten-free cupcake for
Ivy. What child likes to be left out of the central event at a birthday party?
We
did our gluten-free trial. It was
helpful in some ways, but not a clear benefit.
We ended up being gluten-free just during high stress times of the year,
such as the start of school. When we
were gluten-free, I sent snacks on playdates.
Tess entered the house with big bag of popcorn, gluten-free cookies, or
some other treat. I did not restrict her
at parties and I did not give much thought to parties till she went to middle
school.
She and I were invited to a
small mother-daughter jewelry party with some girls she had recently met at her
new school. At the party, I met Hannah
and her mom. Hannah was allergic to
milk, eggs and nuts, as was her mother.
They were great, down-to-earth people.
As I stared at the lovely buffet, I saw that there was little they could
eat. The cheese and crackers, the cookies,
the cake, the muffins were all things that could contain milk or eggs or
nuts. There were some fruits and
vegetables that were safe, but not the dips.
Neither Hannah nor her mother seemed to mind. They were obviously used
to this. These were food allergies. An anaphylactic reaction made a stomach ache
look like a walk in the park. The
hostess could not have known. The girls
had all just recently met. But still, I
made a mental note. For the rest of the
school year, if foods were requested for in-class parties, I made sure to send
something Hannah could eat. I even asked
her one day what was a quick and easy treat for her at parties. She said Oreos. Sure enough - no dairy, eggs or nuts in
Oreos.
And
then it happened to us. Tess had continued
to have some health issues. More lab
tests. The new specialist said she
showed problems with gluten, dairy, eggs and sesame (sesame, what’s with that?). He suggested (kind of insisted) we go
big. The dietary regime started as a
modified “paleo” diet- no grains, beans, nuts, dairy, eggs, soy, and, of course. no sesame. We ate like cavemen. No grains meant no grains at all. There went all the gluten grains, but also
corn, rice, oats, quinoa, millet, and even more obscure stuff. The kid could have meat, most veggies, high
fiber fruits, and "good fats" (coconut oil, avocado).
Quite frankly, this used up the last of my
brain cells, but Tess and I had some goals so we persisted. And she got
better. Much better, noticeably better
to many people she knew.
We stuck with
paleo for 8 weeks. Then we were allowed
to add in foods that had not marked as particularly sensitive. I asked her what she wanted to add first, she
said, “Corn!!” Why corn, “because I want
some popcorn.” Corn went back in with no
problems, as did rice, nuts, night shades, and sweeteners (not artificial, but
all the others). Soy did not fair
well. Soy went back in and the kid’s
eyes could not scan smoothly, so out it went.
We ended up on a gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, soy-free, sesame-free
diet. Hannah had it easy compared to us
(though we could have nuts).
Tess had to
toughen up. If she went to parties, it
was likely she would not be able to eat anything (soy lecithin hides in many
processed foods). The kid is not tough
that way. She LOVES food, all sorts of
foods. She loves healthy foods and had
no trouble eating such a healthy diet, but she also loved to try new
foods. She did not eat a lot of sweets,
but also did not like to skip a goodie that all her friends were eating. And she was not particularly gracious at those moments. Try has she might, she would pout. On the new diet, she seemed somewhat less
likely to pout. Irritability was down. But still, she was 12. Who wants to go to a party and watch everyone
else eat the goodies. Party food is part
of the party.
Soon
I had simply skipped two parties we were invited to. They were pot-luck affairs with everyone
e-mailing their RSVP’s along with the dish they were making. It was apparent that if we went, we would
only be able to eat what we had brought.
That takes the fun out of a pot luck.
When Tess was invited to her first party since the beginning of the
“regime,” I simply asked the hostess if we could bring some treats. I knew Hannah would be there with her food
allergies. Another girl was allergic to
soy. Another was vegan. A tough bunch. I threw together popcorn balls, allergen-free Muddie
Buddies, and some veggie chips. The
hostess mom had also found tortilla chips and guacamole that passed
muster. Pizza, the main dish, was out,
but there were fruits and veggies. The hostess went out of her way to buy a few
gluten-free cupcakes, but they turned out to have soy in them. However, overall, it was a success for party
food. I just had to take Tess straight
home for some dinner. Snacks do not fill
you up when everyone else is having pizza.
But
an idea also had blossomed. Tess, who
has already run one business, wanted to start a cooking business making
allergen-free party foods. I
blanched. Our house is too small for a
cooking business, even if it was only run intermittently. However, we had developed a bunch recipes to
accommodate every possible food allergy in her middle school. That was useful information. I suggested a cookbook. Tess thought that would be great.
Given
all the food allergies and food sensitivities out there, we need some education
about good party food that meets the needs of the millennial party-goer. That's what we are here for. Every hostess wants to serve foods her guests
can eat. However, if one guest is
deathly allergic to peanuts, two have
celiac, another can’t have eggs or dairy, another is soy sensitive, two are
vegan, three are avoiding sugar, and one thinks artificial sweeteners are
poison, what is a hostess to do? We need
fun foods that are free of all the various taboo ingredients- well, at least a
few fun foods at any party.
So
the kid and I decided to start “Fun and Free Foods” - party foods for the new
millennium. I am in charge of blogging and financing (at least until we get the cookbook published). Tess is in charge of cooking. We both work on recipe development. Trust me, food sensitivities
are not going away. Every hostess might
as well be ready to entertain whoever comes through the door.
